Television

Haiku Reviews

August 10, 2009

For weeks now I’ve been meaning to write up a comprehensive review of all the random TV shows I’ve been sampling and, in some cases, following over the last several months.   But the longer I procrastinated, the longer the blog post threatened to be, and the hypothetical task of writing it just got too daunting.

Then I hit on a solution to the problem, that’s probably more entertaining anyway.  So here are some TV review haikus (accompanied with how much of the show I’ve watched, and my letter grade):

30 ROCK (1st two seasons, A)
There was all this hype
So I finally watched this
Tina Fey kicks ass

BETTER OFF TED (Several random episodes, C-)
All the elements
Of a funny, funny show
Without much funny

THE BIG BANG THEORY (1st two seasons, B+)
Nerds and a hot girl
Geekdom in all its glory
This show speaks to me

BONES (A few random epidodes, C)
Procedural stuff
Good chemistry from the leads
Hooked me it did not

CASTLE (1st season, C+)
Fillion and fam
Are better than the rest of
This routine cop show

CHUCK (1st season, A-)
What a dumb premise
But Zachary Levi rules
A smart funny ride

DEADLIEST CATCH (Several random episodes, B)
Reality shows
Make me want to hurl, mostly
But look — boats and crabs!

DEFYING GRAVITY (1st two episodes, D-)
Astronauts go out
To do scientific stuff
But are pawns of fate

DEXTER (1st two seasons, A)
Serial killer
So impressively acted
Fucking compelling

DR. WHO (Numerous random episodes, C)
Tennant is a goof
A campy, uneven spoof
I remain aloof

DROP DEAD DIVA (2 random episodes, D+)
It’s Freaky Friday
Skinny mind in fat body
Way too on the nose

GLEE (the pilot, A-)
Music hurt my ears
Delightfully subversive
I’m oddly hopeful

PUSHING DAISIES (1st season, B)
Died before its time
A clever, colorful romp
Still, no Wonderfalls

RESCUE ME (1st four seasons, A)
Macho jackasses
Are secretly soft-hearted
Hilarious shit

THE RICHES (1st four episodes, B)
Gypsy con artists
Impersonate dead rich folk
Pretty good so far

TORCHWOOD (Several random episodes, C-)
Soap opera team
Saves Wales from oblivion
But I just can’t care

TRUE BLOOD (1st season, C+)
Ooh sexy vampires
Aren’t they bad and raunchy?
Buffy, save me please!

WAREHOUSE 13 (1st two episodes, C-)
Low budget sci-fi
Artifacts in a building
Derivative stuff

WEEDS (1st four seasons, B+)
Entitled people
Do appalling things, really
Edgy and witty

Kind of a cheat, but it gets the job done.  Have you seen any of these shows?

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  • Bridget August 13, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Aren’t you just soooo clever? 30 Rock and Big Bang are my fav. shows on TV right now but a very close tie for first is Hell’s Kitchen – that Gordon Ramsey is a nut and any show where every other word is fuck gets mad ups from me!

    Rescue Me, Weeds and Dexter are all good shows- well written, gripping. Dexter is almost too good!

    I’m also a Top Chef addict and LOVE Craig Ferguson for late night (I usually DVR and watch him in the morning). Other than that, just a lot of porn and Japanese animae -sometimes in the same movie 😉